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Posted on April 09 2014

Five years ago today, I was lying in an uncomfortably hard bed in hospital contemplating how I was going to keep my sweet little baby boy inside my belly. Basically, my waters had partially broken and there was a massive risk of infection which was a danger to me and my baby. Friends and family kindly came to visit me to offer their support and kept my focus off the reality of what was happening. I was in the safest place to have a baby (well sort of) and it would all be ok.

My mind started playing different scenarios of what would happen if my baby was to arrive at 29 weeks. Would they just take him away, would he cry, would I get to hold him and would he survive? I endlessly analysed why this had occurred, had I work too hard, was I under too much pressure at work, was their anything that I did that could have caused this? The list went on and on in my head.

The hospital unfortunately couldn’t deliver babes under 32 weeks so the plan was to be transported to another hospital with a NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) when a bed became available. The plan was to stay in hospital for another 11 weeks until the baby was to be born. Until then, there was a few rounds of steroids (to assist with the babes lung development) as a safety measure if he was to arrive early. The steroids made me shake and my legs jump uncontrollably – it was pretty freaky BUT worth every jump if it was going to help.

My husband was the perfect man, my rock and the love of my life. He’d packed the list of items that I had faxed through earlier that day – ha. We were both really scared but determined to deal with whatever was the outcome. Two days later at 4am my waters fully broke and my husband flew into the hospital to be with me. We eventually arrived at a NICU ready hospital (the Mercy in Heidelberg), 4 hours later and at 2.51pm our little boy arrived coming in a 1.7kg (a good size for a premmie). He came out crying, I relaxed because I knew he was breathing and the super medical staff put him on an oxygen machine and took him away. After I had a minor operation, I got to see my precious little bundle for the first time, all bruised, all red, gorgeous and alive.

He spent 8 weeks in hospital where we met very special friends whom we are still friends with today (3 of our Five Little Faces) before the panicked parents took him home.

Five years later, our little Knuckles will turn 5 on Friday and how far he has come. An operation, tests on eyes, tests on the ears, tests on tests (ha) and everything is ok. He is full of life and personality bundled up into one kid. He’s funny, quirky and our special little boy who had an extremely difficult start to life makes us so very proud. Some events in life change you forever, they change your perception of what really is important and what isn’t. Tell your kids that you love them every day and as we say ‘a cuddle is always free’.X

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